How to Choose One of Two Men?
Q: There are two guys who want to marry me. One has all the attributes I need in a man, but he is married with kids. The other guy has none of the attributes, and he has two girls from two different women. How do I decide which one to marry? — Barb, 35
Dr. Susan: Why are you settling for either one of these guys? You're certainly young enough to keep looking for someone who meets your needs and isn't married! Totally give up the married one, for starters. No matter what you think, you can't actually tell if he has all the attributes you need, because right now he's cheating with you, and that's one big bad red flag. As a husband, he may be quite different from the lover you know him as (just ask his wife).
If the other guy doesn't have what you're seeking in a mate, then why tie yourself down to him? How desperate are you?
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.