Split Date Costs
Q: Is it me, or have men become increasingly cheap? When I first started dating, a guy would typically pick up the tab on a first date. But the past three dates I've been on (all with different people), I've been expected to split the bill. I don't want to appear cheap or spoiled, but a little chivalry would be nice. Am I living in a dream world? — Monica, 48
Dr. Susan: You're not living in a dream world, but in a world that reflects society's changes. While many men still feel they ought to pay for at least a first date, apparently others want women to share the cost of dates right from the beginning. It's possible that the men you're dating aren't high earners, or they've paid for enough first dates that go nowhere that now they don't want to risk "wasting" their money. I understand your desire for "a little chivalry," but in today's world where women want equality, chivalry of that sort may not be worth expecting.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.