Has Relationship Run Its Course?
Q: I've been dating this guy for a couple of months, and things were going great. At first. He texted all the time, complimented me, made plans often. Life got in the way for both of us recently and we spent a few weeks apart. I want to pick things back up again, but his feelings seem to have cooled. We only get together once a week, and I usually have to be the one who makes the plans. He doesn't always respond to my texts. I'm not sure where I stand anymore, but I don't want to seem needy. Should I push for more or let him fade away? — 19, Allie
Dr. Susan: Don't push, but surely you can make some effort to connect with him a little more often. At your age and his, you're no doubt both quite busy, so being together all the time like you were at first might not be feasible. To tell the truth, though, it seems as though those weeks apart caused him to re-think your relationship. It's definitely cooled down. I understand that you don't want to seem needy, but I suspect you are a little needy. How about next time you see him, casually say, "I've been noticing that things are not the same as they used to be between us. Is that how you see it?" Then judge by his response whether it's time to move on.
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Advice for Her
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.