Married and Missing Her Guy Pal

Q: I stayed friendly with my old college boyfriend for years. He was a good friend and confidant who saw me through a health scare and the death of my father. Our friendship faded significantly after my marriage a year ago — but I miss him! Do I just let him go or treat him like any old friend with whom I'd like to reconnect? - Andrea, 33

Dr. Susan: Ask your husband if he'd mind you trying to reconnect with your old friend. Then consider inviting both of them out to lunch so your husband and your old friend can get to know one another. It's possible that your friendship faded precisely because your old boyfriend didn't want to intrude on your new marriage. Although you were no longer romantically linked, it may even be that your ex had some residual hopes that things could change--that is, until you got married. In this disconnected world, it would be a shame to lose a good friend, but his having been your boyfriend may make it tricky.

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