What If Her Newly Thin Mate Cheats?
Q: My husband was getting way overweight, and I told him he needed to lose some of it. Believe it or not, he listened to me and he did something about it. He started biking and lost 40 pounds! But now I kind of regret it. I'm a curvy woman, and he's hanging out with young, thin girls. I'm getting worried because he talks about them all the time and spends a lot of time going on bike rides with these hot girls. What if he has an affair or decides to leave me? - Lorena, 53
Dr. Susan: I understand your sudden insecurity. He's doing a good thing by losing the weight and biking to keep it off. He's probably talking about these girls to you because they're an interesting new breed to him and provide him with tidbits to share. You say you're curvy, which sounds fine. Not every guy prefers young and thin to their own loving wife. I assume from the way you've described your situation that you have no interest in biking with him? You two need to find some fun things to do together, preferably physical activities that you both enjoy. Even ping-pong can work up a sweat.
Will he run off with one of these hot chicks? No one can ever really know if a guy is the cheating kind. And they're less likely to find him exciting than you think. Meanwhile, talk to him about your concerns and then let go. You have to trust him until you see some evidence that he's untrustworthy.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.