How to Move From Casual to Serious
Q: How can you transition from hooking up to something more serious? I've been seeing this great guy for awhile, but very casually. I'd love to see if our connection extends into daylight hours, I just don't know how. -- Trish, 24
Dr. Susan: You feel it's time to change the terms under which your relationship began. But if your hook-up guy is fine with things the way they are, it might not be easy or possible to get what you want. It's worth a try, though. Come right out and ask him on a daylight date. You can judge his interest in you as a person by the way he responds. Hook-up culture doesn't work to meet everyone's needs equally. If all he wants is to continue casually, you can then decide what's next for you, and with whom.
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Advice for Her
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.