Crushes at Work
Q: There's a really cute guy I have a crush on at work. We're not in the same department, but we work together on the occasional project. Is there a way to find out if he's interested, or even single? - Valencia, 37
Dr. Susan: The obvious thing to do is ask around. If no one you know happens to know anything about him, then you will have to be a bit more direct. Next time you work together on a project, strike up a conversation. Look into his eyes and smile a lot. It doesn't have to be a direct question about his personal life, just something related to feelings about your job or life or the news. "Sometimes I wonder if it's possible to do a really super job here and still have time and energy for a social life." See what he says. Or say something related to news about kids, like, "I sure didn't have helicopter parents when I was little. Me and my sister got into a lot of mischief." If he mentions his kids, that's important information to you. If he only talks about his own childhood, that implies something else.
Before you let your crush get you carried away, judge how friendly and responsive he is to whatever you say. If you're not fooling yourself, you can usually tell if a guy has some interest.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.