Real Life vs. Online Hopes
Q: I'm falling hard for a guy I met online. We talk daily via text or video chat, but we haven't met in person yet because he lives in a different state. He's coming for a visit next month, but I'm nervous. I'm afraid that the magic won't be there in person, but I'm also afraid that it will! How do I navigate this next step and keep my expectations in check? - Chelsea, 29
Dr. Susan: The beginnings of any relationship are fraught with anxiety. In your case, the worries are multiplied because you haven't yet tested the in-person chemistry between the two of you. Try not to expect magic. Don't even use that word! Expect a bit of awkwardness, at least. Some people are way shy in person but have a whole different personality when online. You've done the video chat thing, though, so he's not a total stranger to you. It's also possible that you'll continue to be nuts about one another for a while, and the relationship might blow up anyway. Living in different states is a huge challenge. Just because it feels like you already know him, don't let yourself be too trusting, too soon.
Copyright © Fun Online Corporation
Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.