Who Can Handle Her Vibe?
Q: It seems like the guys who are attracted to me are the clingy types. I've been told I'm a handful because I'm outgoing and confident. I tell guys what I want and expect them to listen. If they don't, I'm outta there. The guys who can handle my vibe seem to be the ones who lack confidence and want me to make all the decisions. I want a real man who can keep up with my energy level so I'll stay interested. Where do I find a guy like this instead of the insecure ones? -- Rashandra, 31
Dr. Susan: Are you sure you know what kind of guy you really seek? You don't want a man who expects you to make all the decisions, and yet if a man is as controlling as you are, you would have continuous power battles. I'm not surprised that any guy with a strong sense of self has not yet been able to "handle your vibe." Your vibe sounds a lot like "my way or the highway."
I get that you are high energy, outgoing, confident, and sure of yourself. Maybe just a teensy bit too sure of yourself? You can have all of those fine personality aspects (we rarely question such traits in a man) and yet not come across as "a handful." Make a point of really listening to a guy you're dating. He has needs and preferences too. A true partnership isn't about one person giving orders and the other one obeying. Other than that, I can't tell you where you should go to meet men like you, but not too much like you.
Copyright © Fun Online Corporation
Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.