This Guy Needs to Get Dressed
Q: I'm not sure how to tell my friend that her boyfriend is crossing a line. My boyfriend and I go out to dinner and bars with them, and sometimes we'll stay over to avoid drinking and driving. The problem is that my friend's boyfriend will come out in the morning in just his tight underwear and walk around for an hour like that, sitting and talking to us and even scratching himself sometimes. We're not family, so this is just too much! I haven't said anything because I just try to avoid looking. But we're going on vacation with them and another couple for a week at the beach, and I don't want to see all his bulges every morning when I get up. Do I tell my friend to do something about it or ask my boyfriend to tell him to put on some clothes? - Raven, 26
Dr. Susan: You have several choices. You can ignore his behavior and his bulges. Accept that he has bad manners and don't take it personally. He probably feels at home around you. Or you can make a joke of his cluelessness: "If you really must show off your junk like that, how about at least wearing something more stylish? Something with little hearts on it or little butterflies, or anything LITTLE?" Or you can ask your boyfriend to mention privately to him that you're uncomfortable with his near-nudity. If he won't, then ask your friend to pass along the info.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.