No Sex For 5 Years
Q: I just met a guy that I'm into after a long dating hiatus. Because it's been a few years since my last relationship, and because I've just never been into casual sex, I haven't had sex in about five years. I could see this guy changing all that, but my question is: do I tell him how long it's been? Or will he just wonder what's wrong with me? Cheri-45
Dr. Pamela: Whether it's five, days, weeks, month or years, the amount of time since your last sexual encounter should have zero affect on your new relationship. Think about it. Why would you need to share that information with him prior to having sex? Are you giving him some sort of warning about a possible defect? Of course not. You're not selling him a car that's been idle for five years. You are still the beautiful sexual woman that you've always been. And now after a long break, you're ready again to immerse yourself in a new relationship. When you're closer to this man, then, if you choose, you can share more. But for right now, have fun and let the relationship take its course.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.