Are Looks a Deal Breaker?
Q: I met this guy online a few weeks back and we have really hit it off. I actually think he might be one of the funniest people I have ever met. He's very thoughtful and is always doing nice things for me. You might say he's quite the catch. The only thing is, looks-wise he's not the kind of guy I go for at all. In fact, I'm really not attracted to him. It's just that the guys I usually find myself into (tall, tattooed tough guy) always ends up cheating on me or being a total jerk. Do you think I can learn to love this guy and see past the fact I find him unappealing in the looks department? He really is a sweet guy. -Danielle, 30
Dr. Anna: Relationships are tough! You have hit on an important insight—the guys you usually find attractive haven't turned out to be the best, most reliable partners in the past. So what to do? Romantic love and feelings of attraction can take some time to develop. If someone doesn't take your breath away at first glance, so what? What is the harm in giving it some time to see if any new feelings of attraction develop? If in a few months, there's still no spark, then you can move on. Give yourself permission to try something new, especially since you're looking for a change.
Copyright © Fun Online Corporation
Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.