Friends Ditched Wedding
Q: I'm recently got married and three of my best friends didn't RSVP until the last minute. They haven't really acknowledged my wedding because they are so busy with their families and jobs. I didn't do an engagement or bachelorette party as I hate a lot of attention, and our wedding was small and intimate. One friend posted on Facebook a month before that she was having her own party on the date of my wedding and didn't RSVP until two days before. I am really hurt by this and very turned off. What is the best way to talk to my friends about how I am feeling? -Carrie, 39
Dr. Anna: It's easy to see how this would be hurtful. When deciding whether or not to confront your friends, it makes sense to think about what you really want. Are these still friendships you want to maintain? There is a season for everything. Sometimes friendships that were once close naturally start to fade. If you decide you're ready to let go and focus on friends who are more available and supportive, perhaps you don't need to say anything at all. If you do want to try to keep the friendships, ask them to coffee share your view on what's been happening. Try to stay open and nonjudgmental, and simply share how their actions have made you feel. You can give each friend a chance to repair the friendship, but if they aren't interested it may be time to move on.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.