Friend's Divorce Raising Doubts
Q: A few nights ago my husband and I went out for dinner. With three kids we don't get to go out much, so it's a real treat when we do. So there we were, at our fa-vorite restaurant. Everything was going well until we bumped into an old friend of ours. Except she wasn't with her husband. She was with another man! Well, this of course led to a hushed conversation with me and my husband, as we couldn't believe what we were witnessing. Before we knew it, our friend made eye contact with us and got up from the table and headed over to our table. She brought the guy she was with and introduced him to us. Well, apparently, she divorced her husband three years ago and this was her boyfriend of eight months. She seemed so happy and full of energy. She even went back to school for nursing. The strange thing was, this got me and my husband questioning our own relationship on the way home. We asked ourselves, how does a person know they've found the right person and if we would be suitable with someone else. It was a strange conversation but one that apparently was on both of our minds. It seemed that seeing this old friend of ours brought this out in the both of us. Is there cause for concern? -Jane, 38
Dr. Anna: The breakup of a friend's marriage can often send out shock waves through their social circles. Finding out that someone has left a marriage naturally leads to reflection about your own marriage and life. The fact that both of you were open with each other and willing to reflect together is a very good sign about the general health of your relationship. It's natural and okay to be asking these questions, what is important is to keep talking honestly with each other.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.