Vacation Invite Falls Through
Q: My in-laws have a place in Greece and have always told us to come and stay with them. Well, this year is a big birthday of mine and we want to take our kids and go. They suddenly don't want to commit to a date and are being vague about whether or not we should come. Flights are getting more expensive, and I'm getting upset that they are backing out on us and feel like I'm taking this personally. Should I ask what the problem is or plan another trip? -Jeane, 39
Dr. Anna: Since it's your in-laws you're dealing with, consider asking your partner to talk to their parents privately to see if there is a problem. Perhaps there is some reason that they are hesitant that has nothing to do with you. You can't force people to invite you into their home, and being too pushy risks them feeling resentful for hosting. Regardless, it's your birthday and you deserve to have some concrete plans. If they can't commit to plans with you, move on and choose a different destination.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.