Can't Figure Out His Feelings
Q: I met Dennis three months ago in an Internet cafe that he manages with his friends. I liked him from our very first meeting, and I also noticed he paid me special attention. We became close friends, and I spend hours at the shop even if I have nothing to do there. He ask me not to leave. But I don't know if he knows that I have feelings for him. I don't want to expect anything from him because I don't want to get hurt. We talk on the phone from early mornings till past midnight, even if we're together almost everyday. We talk about our daily gigs, opinions, whereabouts and experiences, but we don't talk about romantic issues. He is the quiet and shy type. I can't sleep peacefully because I keep wondering what is really between us. I always had the knack for knowing immediately a man's feelings and intentions for me, but this time I really don't know. --Donna
Dr. Susan: Seems to me the trick would be to see if you could get him to leave that shop for a coffee date elsewhere. It's possible that you merely help him pass the time at a lonely job, or that you've become special friends and nothing more. Or he could very well share your romantic feelings but be hesitant to take things to the next level. You're going to have to make the next move eventually, it seems, but make it a gentle one. "How about we get out of this place one of these evenings and go see "Such-and-such" at the local cinema? I've really been dying to see that before it disappears." Then judge his feelings by his response.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.