Never Says What He Feels
Q: I am in a 6-month relationship and he can't tell me how he feels. I occasionally hear "I love you too" in response to my "I love you." We never talk about "us" or where the relationship is going. He is my age, and we have both been married before. His actions say I love you, so am I asking too much? -- Nancy, 47
Dr. Susan: You've found yourself a genuine stereotypical male, Nancy. The kind that "shows" how he feels but can't bring himself to "tell." Those magic words so many women long to hear simply aren't forthcoming from that sort of man. They feel uneasy when they try to put feelings into words. You might indeed be "asking too much." And not only because he won't say he loves you after only six months. After having survived a previous marriage, he probably wants to be sure before committing again. And the truth is, it sounds like he wants to take it slow and easy and not think too far ahead. That longing women often have for dissecting the relationship, opening it up to see what makes it tick and figure out if it's going in the "right" direction? It's a relationship killer for some men. It makes them feel pressured. Right now, your guy is getting his intimacy needs met. You aren't. But if you hang around awhile and pay close attention, you may actually that find his deeds speak louder than his words. It may not be perfect, but what is?
Copyright © Fun Online Corporation
Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.