Harder to Date When Older
Q: I am a single mom of two boys and I haven't been on a date for several years now. I am a gay female. I enjoy having that someone to talk to, share experiences with, and just holding a hand or a kiss. My problem is when I was younger it was easy, and now I am not sure where to go to find someone to date. The bars are nice but that is usually a short-lived thing. I'm trying the internet, but that is not going the way I would like. Why is it harder now that I am older and what can I do to be successful in this area of my life? -- Nancy, 42
Dr. Susan: There are a couple of reasons it's harder to date when you get older. One is that so many of the "good ones" are already taken. Another is that most of us get pickier as we get older and have more experience, and that works both ways. Bars have never been the best way to get to know someone with whom to share a life, as you've found. Internet dating is worth sticking with, in my opinion, but do your research. There are all kinds of sites and it doesn't make sense to judge them all by your success with one or two of them. It takes time. I suggest you get involved in an activity or two, even though you're pretty busy as a single mom. Take the time to investigate all the groups in your area, that women, especially gay women, might be involved in. And did I say this already? It takes time, patience, and a pleasant attitude.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.