No Sex After Baby
Q: My husband and I have been together for over three years, and it seems like he isn't that interested in me since our daughter was born. Could I be doing something wrong? Is there something I can do? -- Amy, 20
Dr. Susan: Once you've been with someone for three years, the physical portion of your relationship inevitably changes, many times becoming less frequent and less intense. And once you're had a baby, many things change in your body, your relationship, and your lives, as well. I doubt that you are doing anything actually "wrong." You need to sit your husband down for a quiet talk and find out what in particular is causing him to cool down. He may or may not be aware that some men find it a challenge to be passionate lovers to their wives now that those wives are also mothers. You may need to find ways to separate mothering from being an attentive lover, so your husband can see again what he fell in love with about you. It's got to be a joint project, though. So get him involved however you can.
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Advice for Her
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.