They Fight When Traveling
Q: My wife and I have planned an upcoming anniversary trip. While our relationship is solid at home, we tend to have different philosophies when traveling—usually surrounding how much time to allot for airport transfers, etc. This inevitably ends up with at least one big argument during the course of a trip. How do we find common ground on foreign land? — Tyrone, 54
Dr. Susan: You're afraid you'll be late for things and she's Mrs. Cool? Or vice versa. Reminds me of when my husband and I lined up for a charter flight, and he decided to go find a mailbox right then, and the line started moving forward to board, and he didn't get back until the last possible moment. I was so anxious. Not a good way to begin a vacation! I find that a good rule of thumb is that the person who is most anxious about timing gets a larger say. And the other one doesn't make a fuss, just brings a book for waiting time. I wish I had more advice on this, but all I can say is that none of these differences are worth a big fight. Talk about how the trip is meant to be fun and relaxing and celebratory. So both of you just do your best to assume goodwill on the part of the other and not fret or fuss at each other.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.