He Doesn't Want to Be Just a Friend
Q: I love my best friend so much that I don't have words to express my feelings. When I proposed to her, she said no. We stayed friends, but I can't deal with this pain. She trusts me a lot, and she says I'm her closest friend. But she won't even discuss love with me. She never messages or calls unless I message or call first. Please help me out! — Nathan, 24
Dr. Susan: Often, in close friendships, one of the friends feels much more strongly than the other. It's painful when that happens, but you can't make someone else feel what you feel. The best you can do is decide whether the friendship is worth the pain. Your female best friend simply doesn't feel romantically toward you. To allow the pain to wear off, stop contacting her and get out there and meet other women. You're just driving yourself crazy this way. Perhaps you can be close friends again someday, but not now.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.