She Won't Believe He's Not Cheating
Q: My girlfriend thinks I'm cheating on her. I haven't done anything, I swear! She's messed up. I walk her dog, a yellow lab, every morning. This hot chick in the neighborhood sometimes walks her black lab at the same time. The dogs like to play together, so I stop and talk to the girl while the pups do their thing.
My girl says I'm flirting but I'm not. I'm just being friendly. I can't help it if the neighbor is hot! Now my GF started wanting to walk the dog with me. If she's going to do it, then I want to take a break. She thinks that means I don't want her to see what I've got going on with the chick up the street.
Now I feel like I can't go anywhere. She's always watching me and suspicious. What can I do to stop the crazy train? — Noah, 26
Dr. Susan: Some people are so insecure that if their partner expresses the slightest interest in anyone else, they're jealous. Even if you simply called this other dog-walking person "hot," that could have caused your girlfriend to worry. If you're kind of new together, give her time to learn to trust you. I also suggest you walk the dog together a few times, then maybe take turns. That way she'll see you acting normally when you bump into the hot neighbor.
Reassure your girlfriend that you find her hotter in so many ways than the dog-walking neighbor girl. The hotness factor of a stranger is always high, but when you really like someone (and share a dog), your affection for her and loyalty to her will show up in many ways. If your GF can't see that, her insecurity may eventually send you away screaming.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.