When Chemistry is All There Is
Q: "Jane" and I met online and have been dating for about a month. We have great chemistry and have no trouble getting along over drinks (and after!). The trouble is we seem to have no common interests. We don't share hobbies, musical tastes or even favorite TV shows. Are we doomed? -- Garrett, 30
Dr. Susan: Right now, all you've got is chemistry. Unfortunately, chemistry between any two people is easy to take too seriously. It's important to share time in ways that don't involve liquor and lust. What happens when you go someplace during the day? Is conversation hard to keep going? You don't need to like the same music or TV shows to be compatible, but you should have compatible values and compatible ways of wanting to spend time (outside the bedroom). Lust inevitably dims, while genuine relationships are based on so much more.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.