When No Means No
Q: My ex and I had a very bad break up earlier in the year. We recently got reacquainted but she hasn't gotten over the pain that I caused her. We live in different cities. She recently moved so I don't know where she lives. She came to my city to visit me. We started off having an excellent time, but then she tried to push my buttons so much that I told her to go. She stated she doesn't want to be bothered with me again, and she blocked my number and texts. Should I fight for her or should I just fall back? HELP!?! -- Joseph, 39
Dr. Susan: You're asking if you should "fight" for someone who has told you it's over, has blocked your number and texts, and lives in another city at an unknown address? No! Sometimes a bad breakup cannot be fixed, and the two of you have too many hurts and unresolved issues to make a go of it. Sure, she gave you a mixed message by coming to visit you. But now you MUST respect her desire to be out of this relationship. Fall back, and move on.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.