Is There Someone For Everyone?
Q: My women friends tell me I'm a great catch, but I can't seem to meet the right girl. I just turned 30 and I'm single, while all my friends are married, engaged or in serious relationships. I love my job, my dog and my friends, but I'm starting to worry there just isn't someone out there for me. How do I look for a serious relationship without seeming desperate? - Ian, 30
Dr. Susan: Believe me, not every guy is married or engaged or even in a serious relationship at 30. Your loss of confidence can only hurt your chances of coming across as a "great catch." If you're serious about meeting someone, widen your net and get out into the world more (which may include online dating sites, and not only the free ones). If you're truly feeling desperate, you might consider a session or two with a counselor. He or she can help you figure out if there's something in your presentation that is off-putting. Or if you can't seem to find women whom you'd like to date at all, it could mean your pickiness is getting in the way.
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Advice for Her
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.