His Tattoo Falls Flat
Q: I surprised my wife last night with a tattoo of her name on my inner arm. When I showed her, she wasn't exactly excited. Her face seemed to tell the whole story. When I asked her why she didn't seem happy, she couldn't exactly give a clear answer. At one point she even said, "tattoos are permanent." I do admit getting the tattoo because I felt our marriage was getting a little stale. Does this mean that in the back of her head she doesn't think our marriage is "permanent?"-Anan, 39
Dr. Anna: A permanent tattoo of her name was a nice gesture, but it seems like it missed the mark. If you feel your relationship is a bit stale, it's probably time for you to sit down with her and have a heart to heart conversation about what's going on. Chances are if you're feeling it, she's feeling it too. If you're both still in the relationship, it's not too late. Ask her what you can do to make your relationship fun again. Listen to what she wants! Some women find help around the house, small gifts like flowers, or more affection more romantic than a grand gesture like a tattoo. Bottom line is, you're not going to know unless you ask her. Find out what she thinks will spark things up, then make it happen.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.