She Wants a Big Wedding
Q: My girlfriend keeps hinting at me to 'pop the question' but says I will probably have to pay for the wedding. This would be a second marriage for both us. I love her, but feel a little trapped around this and don't know how to bring up the fact that I can't pay for an entire wedding. How can we compromise on this without creating too much drama? -Steven, 47
Dr. Anna: First, you need to figure out what you want. Do you want to get married again? If you know don't want to get married again and you don't want a wedding, you owe it to both yourself and her to be honest with her. If it's just not going to happen, she needs to know and be able to make her own decision about what to do with that. If you do want to eventually get married again but know it doesn't make financial sense for you to pay for a big wedding, then tell her that directly. You both are in this together, figure out what you're feeling and then talk to her about how to move forward together.
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Advice for Her
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.