Girlfriend Tired of Him?
Q: Why does my girlfriend get mad at me when I do the same thing she does, like when she makes fun of me and I make fun of her in turn? She acts like she doesn't care about me anymore. She doesn't even want to talk to me. I love this girl so much, and I don't want to lose her. What should I do? -- Jack, 25
Dr. Susan: You're asking two separate questions, though they may be related. First, when you make fun back at her, she's not a good sport about it. It could be that you're hitting much more sensitive areas on her than she is with her teasing of you. It takes a while to know one another's sore spots, and you may not be attuned to hers yet. Teasing can't always be tit-for-tat. Say she teases you about your funny toes. That's fine with you, and you laugh and play along, wiggling them at her. Then you tease her about her cute little tummy, and she goes ballistic. That's because she's not pleased about her weight and when you make fun of her shape, she feels criticized, no matter what you meant.
Beyond all that, however, you're sensing she doesn't care for you anymore. If she won't talk to you, your supposition is most likely accurate. People who like one another talk together, unless sometimes if they're angry. What you need to do is ask her very nicely if she's upset with you, and let her know you like her so much that you want to work out whatever is getting between you. If she's unresponsive to that, there's not much you can do.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.