Q: I've been dating this girl for two years, and we used to kiss and make out pretty often. The last 4 or 5 months she never kisses me, never wants to kiss me and never wants to make love. She also doesn't seem to want to spend time with me like she used to. She used to want me to come see her every day during the week and spend weekends at her house. I asked her yesterday why she never wanted to see me during the week anymore, she replied that I always want to stay and it messes up her sleep. What do you think about this situation? -- Frank, 44
Dr. Susan: Six months to two years is what's called the "honeymoon" period, whether you're married or not. So maybe your girlfriend has decided the thrill level isn't high enough anymore to waste precious sleep over. If she's telling the truth, you can always compromise by offering not to stay over on weeknights. Of course, that she isn't showing ANY signs of affection might mean something else entirely. Come right out and ask her if she still wants to be with you, and if so, how come the kissing has cooled so much? Is she angry or resentful about something, or is her libido just not that high? Two years of dating ought to mean you can ask anything and expect an honest answer.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.