Only "Friends" Forever?
Q: This girl and I have become good friends. I really like her and I asked her how she felt about me. She told me she is not good with relationships, and she has driven the other guys crazy. She said she likes me too much for that to happen to me and, I guess, hurt the relationship we have. I don't know how exactly I should take that statement. Does it mean she likes our relationship and she doesn't want to hurt what he have now, or does she want us to get to know each other better and maybe something can happen later. What does she mean by her statement? -- Chad, 19
Dr. Susan: I vote for choice A. She has said exactly what she means: she's fine the way things are with you, and she doesn't want to mess that up by adding a layer of romantic intimacy. Then everyone's hormones get all squishy and no one uses their best judgment. Plus if a girl tells you she has driven men crazy (and not in a good way), than believe her and look elsewhere for love. She's telling you she just wants to be friends. Period.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.