Dating for Distraction

Are you dating for all the wrong reasons? We so often say we want a soul mate. We say we want a passionate partner. We say we want someone to share our lives with. And then we go and date someone who's clearly none of those things.

Why? We tell ourselves it's because we're lonely. We tell ourselves it's because we're being open-minded and not putting restrictions on the kind of person we want to date.

But is all that really true? Could you be dating to distract yourself from your other problems?

Active Avoidance
Are you trying to avoid dealing with work stresses? Or financial stresses? Or your dysfunctional family? Or low self-esteem because you're not working out or taking care of yourself? Or...whatever your other issues are?

Of course you'd like someone to have fun with...eat dinner with...go to movies and shows with...do the wild thing with....

But which do you want? Someone to hang out with? Or someone to have a meaningful relationship with?

If you're honest with yourself, you'll have a better handle on who you want to attract and why. And why you keep dating people who don't fit you or your so-called relationship goals. Get real!

Drama Lessons
If you're dating just to distract yourself, you'll succeed with flying colors! Dating dramas can take up all your time and energy. And they make for great gripe sessions with your friends. You'll be the center of attention. For all the wrong reasons. Again.

You say things like: "Can you believe another girl treated me that way?" Or "He's just like all the other losers I've dated lately...." Um, whose fault would that be if you keep consciously settling for less-than-stellar sweethearts?

Maybe you need to take a break from your proclaimed hunt for the love of your life. Maybe you need to heal your own heart or finances or job situation or body issues or family feuds.

Maybe you need to stop looking for a romantic fix and start looking for a self-fix. Fix you! Build an honest and healthy relationship with you. Love you!

The cliché you hear so often, "You can't love anyone else unless you love yourself" is also a truism. To thine own self be true!

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