How Low Can You Go? Dating a Workaholic

When you're faced with another canceled date, and the excuse is work, it can get very frustrating. You may start to doubt that your sweetie's really working. You wonder who would put work in front of a date with someone as sexy, interesting, and all-around wonderful as you are. You get the commitment, but still....

First, you have to identify the signs of a workaholic (as if you don't already know). The workaholic can't seem to plan dates until the day he or she is finally available--or maybe even only a few hours beforehand. Or if your sweetie does plan a date, the cancellation comes more frequently than the consummation of the date. Super frustrating!

Truly Temporary?

In the beginning, you tell yourself the situation is only temporary. But soon you realize there's always another project coming that will make for "an extra-busy week" or another extended trip out of town after you just got through waiting for your lover's return. The goal of spending more time together when things calm down just isn't going to happen. They're never going to calm down because your lover chooses to embrace the responsibility, hectic schedule, and stress that go along with these time-consuming work assignments.

Recognizing Reality

So now that you know that you come last and that the job is never going to stop being a time suck, what do you do? Do you recall the saying, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going"? Well, in this situation, following that advice can leave you with two very different courses of action. You can work harder to win your lover's affection and tempt him or her to spend more time with you. Or you can simply "get going" and leave the relationship far behind.

Impractical Investment

Think long and hard about the benefits of being with this workaholic before continuing to invest your time in this relationship. Even though you can admire and empathize with the desire to succeed, your needs should be primary in your decision. If this person can't or won't spend enough time with you to move your intimacy forward, then what's the point of hanging around waiting for some free time together? Unless you really believe things will change quickly, get going, get your own priorities in order, and yourself get gone from this virtual relationship!

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