He Hypnotized Me for Sex

QUESTION: I'm a 20-year-old woman. Recently my boyfriend took a psychology course in college and learned about hypnosis.

He hypnotized me and told me that I would find him very irresistible and would have a strong desire to make love to him.

It was the best experience that I have ever had, and I can't come close to it without being hypnotized. Why can't I achieve such satisfaction when I am not hypnotized?

ANSWER: Your question is answered by New York Psychiatrist Sidney Rosen, M.D., founding president of the New York Milton H. Erickson Society for Psychotherapy and Hypnosis. An expert in hypnotherapy, Dr. Rosen offers this explanation of how hypnotism affects sexual responsiveness:

It's in the Head

Sex takes place mostly in the head. It is well known that an important element in sexual responsiveness is fantasy. Anything that heightens the intensity of the fantasy will also heighten sexual arousal and response.

An Altered State of Consciousness

Hypnosis allows you to enter into an altered state of consciousness in which you are more suggestible, and more able to focus your attention on whatever is suggested. You are also more relaxed, some of your inhibitions are released, and fantasies or imagery are sharpened and magnified.

This would account for your response to your boyfriend hypnotizing you, and would also point to a way to achieve greater satisfaction without having to be hypnotized.

What You Wanted Anyway

I hasten to add that you responded to your boyfriend's hypnotic suggestions because you really wanted to. Hypnosis makes it easier for people to relax, focus attention, and engage in activities they wish to engage in.

People cannot force each other, through hypnosis, to engage in sexual acts that are distasteful to them or contrary to their character or morals.

Develop Ability to Fantasize

To increase your sexual responsiveness without hypnosis, learn to develop your own ability to relax, focus, and fantasize. Give yourself exciting suggestions and find images that excite you. This could include the fantasy of being loved or admired by an idealized male -- a movie star for example.

Or you might find that other types of images -- flowers, jewelry, scenery -- achieve similar results.

Self-Hypnosis Can Improve Sex

You'll find that you can actually hypnotize yourself by concentrating on such images, instead of relying on someone else to hypnotize you. When you do this, you enter into a self-hypnotic trance.

Any techniques that can help you increase your ability to relax, focus your attention, and fantasize can also increase your sexual receptivity and responsiveness.

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