The Sex Advice You Should Ignore
No matter where you get most of your bedroom advice - friends, family, the magazine rack at the grocery check-out - you know the guidance is always conflicting. Should you do this, or don't do that?
Here, we help debunk the dumbest counsel.
They Say: Wait for It!
We Say: Go Ahead and Do It on the First Date!
Hey, we should all be so lucky as to have dates where we hit it off so well and share so much palpable sexual tension that our second date is breakfast the next morning! Many a happy, stable relationship had an accelerated start. If it really makes you uncomfortable later, you can always back off. But don't assume that first-night nookie is a death sentence for your future relationship.
They Say: Focus on Foreplay
We Say: It's All Part of the Act
If you define straight-up intercourse as 'sex' and think everything else just a necessary pre-cursor, you're really limiting your fun. Hands and mouths are so damned dexterous, why ever would you not use them before, during and after every session in the sack?
They Say: Honesty is the Best Policy
We Say: A Little White Lie Doesn't Hurt Anyone
No need to be brutally truthful on all the issues. Feel free to keep some things to yourself - like your exact number of previous partners, that you're not exactly turned on by his newly acquired paunch, or that she breathes like a hyena in bed. There are issues that do need to be frankly discussed, though, including your sexual health and what's working (and what's not).
They Say: She's the Expert
We Say: You're Both In This Together
It was described to me this way: "Female inherent sexual prowess is a myth." In other words, ladies, you did not receive some kind of bedroom goddess certification with your Cosmo subscription (even thought that's what their office may have you believe!) So stop assuming he doesn't know what he's doing and that you're some kind of sexual gift.
They Say: Make Sex Part of Your Schedule
We Say: Sometimes It's Okay to Not Wanna Do It
The problem-and the only problem, as far as we can tell-with a steady diet of sex is that you tend to take it for granted. Fortunately, abstinence makes the heart (and the rest of your body, for that matter) grow fonder. Holding off on your hooking up for a few nights is a form of delayed gratification. The more anticipation you build, the hotter the payoff will be.
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