Dreaming of the One That Got Away…

You have flashbacks every once in a while to that time when you were shiny-happy with the one. You remember that feeling of excitement when you were around each other. You remember the laughter. You remember the look in their eyes that lit up your world.

When you have those visions of the past, you're not seeing clearly. You're not feeling the shock of how deeply they hurt your feelings. You're not remembering the discomfort of being around someone you couldn't trust. You're not feeling the anger and sadness when you left for the last time.

Lots of us have had a yearning for the one that got away. But that yearning is more about being wanted than being loved. That yearning is more about undoing the feeling of rejection when it didn't work out. That yearning is for what could have been.

Time to Wake Up
The next time your mind and heart drift toward that dreamy "what if" state, think about what still could be.

Now, you might be thinking that you're already doing that. You might be thinking about what could be when you peek into your ex's social media pics and see what they're up to now. You might be thinking that's what you're doing when you find their contact info in your phone and wonder if you should reach out.

Don't! Just don't.

What still could be is actually about future happiness with someone new. Focus on the better match who's still out there looking for you too.

Those thoughts about what was and might be again are overshadowing your future possibilities like storm clouds rolling in at the beach. You weren't happy with each other. If you were, you wouldn't be apart right now.

Keep Your Distance
You did the right thing when you split that last time. You did the right thing for you...because you're actually the one that got away.

You got away because it was better for you. You got away because someone awesome is out there looking for you. You got away so that you could get close to someone who truly makes you happy.

A do-over isn't going to do that. Stop yearning for the past and start seeing the light of a new day.

Replace those flashbacks with vivid visions of the one who stays. Focus on what you want a real relationship to be.

Banish those broken dreams. Your heart needs a fresh start.

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