Why She Said No

Even if you've only invested thirty seconds of your life making meaningful eye contact with someone you don't even know, rejections still burns. Sometimes it stings even more, knowing that she hasn't even taken the time to get to know you; she's not turned off by your bad habits or (un)employment status.

It may seem she's writing you off on no good basis, but she does have her reasons. (You'll be pleased to know that not one of them is a personal statement on your worthiness as a human being.)

Rejection Rationale #1: She's Not Single

But she was flirting, I hear you say. Was she really, or was she maybe just being nice? And, hey, even if she was throwing herself at you, there's no law against a little extra-marital male manipulation. Next time do a little homework first - "So, why isn't your boyfriend out with you tonight?"- before you put your ego on the line.

Rejection Rationale #2: The Timing Is All Wrong

We're all entitled to our bad moods and bad days. Maybe she got screamed at by her boss, is having a 'fat day,' or is just irritated that yours is the sixth unwanted advance she's had to fend off on a night she just wanted to catch up with her friend. In the words of the Magic Eight Ball, try again later.

Rejection Rationale #3: Your Approach Needs Work

Any chance you're being creepy or a pest? Have you been leering? Buying her stiff drinks she doesn't want? Slipping an arm around her waist while she chokes on the overpowering stench of your bad cologne? If these are ringing any bells, you need to fix up your pick-up techniques before being allowed back in public.

Rejection Rationale #4: She's Got Her Mind Elsewhere

Listen for the key words "taking a break from dating" or "focusing on me/my career right now." For whatever reason - recovery from a bad breakup, general dissatisfaction with dating, trying to make partner at her law firm - you are not welcome here right now.

Rejection Rationale #5: She's Just Not Into You

She's sure you're a swell guy and all, but she's just not attracted to blonds, investment bankers, base jumpers, or whatever it is you are. This is not the end of the world. There are plenty of women who love blond, base-jumping investment bankers. Go find one of them.

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