Was Your Breakup a Mistake?
Four Ways to Figure It Out
By Laura Snyder
There are two questions on the mind of everyone just recently out of a relationship: ‘Will I ever have sex again?’ and ‘Did I do the right thing?’. Before you pick up the phone and start groveling for a second chance, first consider the following.
You’ve Flown Solo
The biggest mistake most newly single folks make is getting back together too soon, or jumping into a rebound relationship, before spending adequate time alone figuring things out. Have you given yourself enough time and space to gain a little perspective? The more distant from the situation you are, the more rational decision you’ll be able to make.
It’s not just a matter of who dumped who, but what the reasons behind the split were. Was it just a circumstance (like too far a distance or too demanding jobs) or was there bigger reason behind the split, like infidelity? All relationships deserve to start on a clean slate, but some old hurts are much, much harder to erase.
Things ended for a reason, right? Reconsider it. Has your cheating girlfriend proven that her wandering eye is finally focused on you? Or are you sure your jealous boyfriend is really ready to trust you? Make a little time for self-reflection here, too. Chances are, you have your own burden of fault in the end of your relationship. Have those conditions changed?
Your Reasons are Right
What do you want – really? Is it truly your ex, or just someone to keep the empty side of the bed warm? Someone to save you from a big, lonely future? Are you feeling particularly vulnerable or nostalgic? It’s a challenge to pick up the pieces of a relationship that’s already failed once; you’d better have a good reason for taking the risk again.
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