Dating or Just Friends? It Can Be So Confusing!
By Terrey L. Hatcher
The line between friendship and dating can be really confusing at times. You go out to dinner, you hang at bars, you might even go to movies together…just the two of you. But are you dating or just friends?
You really enjoy spending time with your close friend, but sometimes there’s this vibe… It makes you wonder what your pal thinks about your relationship.
Be Careful if You Assume
If no spit has been swapped and no sex has been had, then you might assume that you’re just platonic pals. But sometimes the assumption is not so mutual. Here are some questions to consider if you’re having doubts about how dynamic your duo is.
- Who pays? Do you each pay for your own meals and drinks when you go out? If you always pay, then your friend is most likely considering it a date…unless you’ve specifically laid down a just-friends boundary, that is.
- Who drives? If you each drive separately and meet at a prearranged spot for dinner or drinks, then you’re pretty clearly in the friend zone. If you’re getting picked up by your pal most of the time, then you’re feeding the feeling that you’re dating.
- How touchy-feely are you? Do you put your arm on her back? Does he hug you with an extra-tender squeeze? How’s the eye contact? Flirty or tame? Step back and assess the physical cues to see what your comfy companion might be reading into your shared social life.
- How much do you share? Do you two discuss current dating escapades and give each other advice? Do you try to pair your chum with other friends? These are signs that you’re just pals, not partners.
Pay Attention to the Signs
No matter how you’re reading the signs, your companion may be seeing things in a totally different way. If you want to keep things amicable, not amorous, then you’d best be clear that you’re seeking only friendship. If you’re not quite sure how much you want out of this relationship, then feel free to keep the lines open for a new level of cozy closeness to develop.
But remember…once you’ve crossed the line from friendship to dating, you might never be able to take a step back. In that case, you’ve moved into the love-it-or-lose-it category. So choose your lovers and friends wisely!
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