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If You Want It to Last, Don’t Move on Too Fast

By Terrey L. Hatcher

It’s a bit naughty, but some people say that the best way to get over your ex-lover is to get under a new one. If you really believe that, then you’re probably fooling yourself.

Unless…

Yes, there are exceptions to every rule. And you hear those stories about a friend of a friend who met the love of their life within days or weeks of breaking up with an ex. And it’s still going strong.

Quit Looking for the Quickie
But in most cases, the quick fix simply doesn’t work. Why? Because you need time to heal and figure out what should be different next time.

You need time to recognize the warning signs you missed in the early stages of dating your ex that could have saved you some heartache. You need to think about what you could have done differently to choose someone more compatible.

You need to figure out what type of person will bring out the best in you, what type of person you’ll really, really enjoy spending lots of time with.

Enjoying their company doesn’t just apply to passion-filled all-nighters. It also means when you wake up with your hair a mess and morning breath and you can barely manage a nod before downing your first cup of coffee. Will you be happy to see them?

Know Your Own Needs
Sure, your lover has to tolerate you, too, and adore your bedhead and snoring and—most especially—your dog! But your job is to figure out what you want. And that shouldn’t be just the next person who’s available and attractive and shows an interest in you.

You’ve got lots of options in this world, no matter how difficult, quirky, shy, loudmouthed, busy, or couch-potatoey you think you are. What matters is who you are and finding someone who complements you in all your gory glory.

Yes, bedroom compatibility is essential. But being able to talk late into the night is important too. Being able to shop or hike or lay by the pool or watch TV and not talk is great too.

Come Out on Top
So don’t just date the next eligible single person who crosses your path. Don’t get under someone just to get over your last partner. Get over your ex first. Get over your grief. Get under your own power.

Don’t let your next lover choose you. Be picky and make the decision based on what you know about yourself, what you want in life and, yes, what chemistry tells you about this hot new prospect.

Don’t just fill the space in your bed. Use that brain in your head and go for lasting thrills!

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