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Ladies: Retrain Your Selfish Lover

By Laura Snyder

When it’s just a fling, a ruinous romp in the sack with a selfish stud can be laughed off with your pals. But what if it’s your serious sweetie who’s not so generous when you’re getting down?

If your guy gets a little too focused on his own fun, use our advice to inspire some more bedroom altruism.

Do It Yourself

If there’s a particular part of your bod that’s aching for some attention, let your own hands linger there. His competitive nature will make him want to take over. Or take a more pro-active hands-on approach: when your lover’s roaming hands manage to miss your hottest spots, take those fingers and put them exactly where you want them to be.

“I Have A Dream”

Regale your Romeo with the details of a dirty dream you had (or just make one up). Paint a vivid mental image for him with all your indecent fantasies. The more specific you make your salacious story, the more incentive you’ll give him to make it a reality.

Psyche Him Out

Employ a few rules of reverse psychology. If you want him to focus on a particular area, tell him he can’t. Since we all want what we can’t have, if you make an area off limits to your man, the more appealing that spot will become. You can also trick his brain into thinking he’s granting you a favor by doing your bidding. Innocently pose a few suggestive questions, like “Would you like to kiss me here?” or “Would you like to touch me there?”  He’ll think he’s getting when he’s really giving.

Set a Generous Example

You already knew that great sex is all about the give and take. But if you’re not getting exactly what you want, be prepared to give it up first. If you want a gentle caress, a nibble here or there, or a passionate kiss, give your lover one first. Ask them if that feels good, and when they admit it does, request they try it out on you.

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