Does Something Seem Off in Your Relationship?
By Terrey L. Hatcher
When you get a strange sense that your hottieís feelings for you are cooling off, youíre probably right. And your next thought is to wonder what youíve done wrong, isnít it?
Well, let me fill you in. Most likely what youíve done wrong is to think that itís something you did. What youíve done wrong is to assume that because things are going well, they wonít change. What youíve done wrong is to try to figure out something that your honey is not telling you.
Stop the Silent Suffering
Youíre not a mind reader, are you? Then itís not your fault. If somethingís off in your relationship, then your lover needs to tell you what it is.
And if not, then you need to ask. Stop second-guessing yourself and start seeking answers.
Usually, when something shifts for no apparent reason, itís because thereís something happening behind the scenes. That something is most likely a new attraction, or even some hidden action.
Consider the Temptation
Even if thereís no real person making your sweetie act not-so-sweet, it may be just the idea of someone new thatís making your partner back off. Sometimes itís someone at work or at the gym. Sometimes itís someone in a coffee shop or deli. Sometimes itís a friend who suddenly seems to have possibilities for more.
Whoever is tempting your partner may or may not be a real threat. But even if your loverís only daydreaming about someone new, youíve got trouble. That means your relationship has some weak spots, and youíd better deal with them if you want to stay together.
Seek to Understand
You might want to consider a twofold plan of action. You canít pull things together on your own, but you can try to get your relationship back on the right track.
First, think about what you love about your sweetie and say it out loudÖmore than once. Accentuate the positives. Say and show how you feel.
Second, ask if thereís something bothering your lover about you or the relationship. Try not to be defensive but rather to be truly open to hearing the problem and working together to fix it.
Take Some Action
But donít keep asking. And donít keep wondering and worrying every second. Get busy! Not that wayÖwell, maybe that might help too! But seriously, get busy with your own friends and your own interests.
If youíre super-available, then you might draw less attention from your honey. You donít need to play games with your partner, but do play! Play by having fun with your friends. Play by finding new fitness partners. Play by giving yourself more time to indulge in your hobbies.
If you do more things on your own that make you feel good, then the bonus is that youíll have more new and interesting things to talk about when you and your lover finally spend more time together.
So if something seems off in your relationship, your instincts are probably spot on. Just donít sit around waiting for things to get better. Make yourself happy!
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