The Drunken Jerk
I rather rashly decided to answer an ad on the internet in the personals, because I was in a bit of a dating slump. The man called and we spoke on the phone several times. He said that he was an architect, so I figured he was at least somewhat intelligent and could at least afford to support himself, and he seemed nice enough at the time, so I figured, hey, why not. We had a date set up for that following Saturday night, but at the last minute my three year old got sick and I had to cancel. I felt bad, but he was really cool about it. We rescheduled for the following week. At the last minute again, my babysitter canceled, so although I never would have allowed some internet person I never met over my house; I felt bad, so I invited him over for dinner. He agreed to come. I went to the store and bought 2 big, beautiful t-bone steaks, potatoes, and salad fixings. He showed up and was fairly attractive; he seemed nice enough. I was just taking the steaks off the grille and he and I were on our second drinks, when he suddenly announced he wasn't hungry. I asked him if he knew I was making dinner, and he replied he forgot and had eaten a late lunch. He then sat and watched as I ate my dinner. It was very awkward. After I wrapped his plate and put it in the fridge, he got pretty drunk, and then wanted the food. He was such a sloppy eater; he was sucking the steak off the bone and complaining that it was too rare and too cold for him, even though I had done my best to reheat it. I then couldn't get rid of this drunken jerk. We sat in the house and I surfed around on the TV. Finally, I stopped on an episode of "cops" where the undercover cop tries to pick up male prostitutes. Apparently, homosexuality is extremely offensive to this man, because he finally left when I wouldn't change the channel! No more internet dating for me!
-- Tina, 26