I'm white girl who likes dating black men. Two months ago, I met an unemployed Jamaican man. It didn't bother me that he was broke because he seemed like a great guy to go out with. Sex was awesome. He was fourteen years younger than me, so I felt lucky to have him and didn't want to complain about the financial situation. I figured he would eventually find a job. He started taking me for granted after the first week, and he became a little bossy. Last night we went to the movies. He chose a movie that was absolutely not within my remote taste range, but I still agreed to see it. The movie was at a drive-in theatre. We were running thirty minutes late so we couldn't find a good spot. He kept complaining he couldn't see the entire screen. I told him he could move the car wherever he wanted because I really didn't care. He misunderstood me, and we started arguing about how I didn't care about anything. He thought I was saying that I didn't care about him. I was only saying that I was being easy going/accommodating, as in "I don't care". So it was a language misunderstanding, I believe. All of a sudden, it became a white and black issue. He said that I tried to make him think as a white man and that we were too culturally different from each other. He said he should be going out with a Jamaican girl, etc. I admit saying I could do better than him, too. He started to show his true colors. He had his fingers poking my face ready to hit me. I just didn't understand how things had escalated so quickly. Here I was, trying to be accommodating, paying for the movie, for gasoline, for food, for drinks, for everything, and here he was accusing me of being too white, too different from him, and too selfish. What did that mean exactly? Try to make sense of racial arguments. You just can't because they are so irrational. We were in my car, in a public place. I was embarrassed, he wasn't. I got a hold of the car keys, and told him I would call security if he didn't take his hands off of me. After giving me the scariest look I've ever received from a man, he walked away. I drove back home totally sad and disappointed, yet happy that I left him before I regretted a violent incident. So, here is my story and my conclusion: If you are going for an interracial relationship or even if it's just dating, make sure that you are certain about who you are going out with. The first chance to destroy what you have with that person will be when you talk about color and race. In addition, but not necessarily limited to interracial issues, if your partner shows signs of control, possession, jealousy, drugs, alcohol and/or violence dump that person immediately. It's not worth the trouble. You will get hurt, you will get in trouble, and you will be sorry.
-- Evelyn, 32