There's this boy, right? I met him five years ago. Ever since then I've liked him, but I've had the feeling he dates his best friend's girlfriend. When we were boyfriend and girlfriend, he used to call me maybe once in a whole month. Than she was always on the phone with him when I used to go to his place. She was always calling him and telling him at what time her boyfriend was going to work so this way they could get together. She usually cries over her life, and he dries her tears while his friend is working. We've been girlfriend and boyfriend five times. When I think my life is going good, I feel him missing me and I go back. We are like soul mates. I don't think he loves me, but he will never find anything better than me. He doesn't know she plays with both of them. One gives her money and the other two satisfactions. One month ago, unless I was imagining it (which I'm sure I wasn't because I asked my friend to pinch me), I told him full out that I liked him and that he had a chance. But you know what the problem is? I don't want to get a disease. The problem is that I've obsessed ever since I was old enough to obsess over boys. He likes me. I know so. But she is always getting in his pants. I thought I deserved better. That is why I left him. But at the same time, I can feel when he misses me. This is the part I don't get. As I know I'm a great lover. I had heard this before from my ex. He died at war. The thing is, he can spend two weeks without talking to me or seeing me because he just likes me. I know he spends most of his time dreaming about me in her arms. He most has notebooks filled with poetry about us that I sent him over the years. When he asked me out and I heard this wonderful news, I was flying on clouds for about two weeks. I'm sure he spends most of his time dreaming about me. Yet, when I email him, he will never answer me back. But if I call him, he will always be there for me. I've been living like this for almost six years and it's driving me crazy. I just hope we can work it out so I can get some rest. He could find out that she plays him, too. I only hope he stops thinking of me and stops missing me. This way we will be able to have every night hold a happy sleep, and I can make another man the happiest man in this world. I know I deserve better. I deserve a gentleman. I guess things will just stay as they are until she gets tired of him and his friend.
-- Valerie, 29