I Know It May Be Stupid But...

When I was nineteen, I began fooling around with a married man. He was about thirty-two. He approached me first, and from that moment on I really began to like him. Our love affair lasted for five years. I was practically in love with this man, and we were hooking up every other week. We would meet either at my place or at a motel. When I first met him, I wasn't dating anyone else. But I did want to be in a real relationship. This guy and I had extremely wonderful sex. It felt so good. We were on and off for a really long time. Then I began dating someone else. I promised myself then that I would stop seeing the married guy. We got married, and I broke my promise. Now, we were both married, and we still did our thing. I felt that I could have my way, and I did just that. For those five years, I could write a novel about the relationship I had with this man. There were some bad times as well. It's been almost a year since we've had sex, and over a month since we've had a conversation. So, you tell me. Do you think it's really over between us? He says I trip too much, but these married men fill your head up with some good stuff, but when he didn't own up to it, that pissed me off for the last time. I just got fed up with him. I told him, "Don't lie to me. I'm just as whole of a human as you are." I never disappointed him in any way for that whole five years except for when I entered into a serious relationship with someone I didn't have to wait for. He was kind of furious about that, but what for? He had someone — a wife. This time it was MY time. Between you and me, I know it may be stupid, but I still like him. I don't love him anymore, but I do like him.

— Makesha, 26

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