No More Chances

I was a girl in college, I remember the first day like it was yesterday. I sat in front of him, thinking this guy is really hot, I would like to know him. We did some flirting, and soon he had my number in his pocket. His name was Anthony; I remember what he was wearing, who called his phone, I was so happy. He lived with his sister, that's what he told me. Three months after we started dating, I find that it is his ex-girlfriend. That was the first lie. But me being stupid in love, I thought he told me because he loved me and he couldn't live a lie. I didn't break up with him then, even though I should have. We were happy for a while. He started working at a grocery store; we were both in love. He would take me out to dinner; buy me jewelry, everything I wanted. Later, while looking in his wallet, I found the number of a girl. There were also messages on his cell phone, and again I was stupid in love and didn't break up with him. He stopped talking to the girl, and we were happy again. He told me if I ever cheated on him or did anything to upset him, he would kill me or have someone else do it. I knew I would never do that to him, so I didn't pay attention to what he said. Around New Years, we broke up again; not over a girl, but because of his "problems." I found someone else, but then Anthony started calling me and telling me how much he missed me and wanted me back. I was still in love with this man. He meant the world to me. I was only happy with him. I took him back, told him if I ever found another number from a girl, we were done. Again, three months later, I found a number. He didn't call her, she never called him. So, I didn't do what I should have. We started arguing more, and about the stupidest things. We've spent two years now on our relationship, thinking we are happy; but there is no trust. He started to become violent, pulling my hair. I was scared to tell. I was scared he would hurt me more. Then he started calling me names, every name you could think of. Three months passed again, and he left his wallet in the car on his way to work. He called me to bring it to him. Something was telling me to look in his wallet. I found another number and I was devastated. I felt like I was nothing. I kept asking myself, "Why would he cheat on me? Is my body not good enough? Am I not pretty enough?" I called him to tell him I was bringing his wallet to him, I know about the other girl, and we were done. He hung up the phone on me. When I got to his work, they told me he went to another store to drop something off. I knew that was a lie because he doesn't have a car, he would have no way of getting there. I walked in and asked to see him, telling them I have his wallet and that was it. I had to meet him in the cafe area. He called me upstairs and I asked him how could he play me, how could he do this to me. I followed him not thinking straight, knowing how he was. We went into a small hallway and he said to me, "You are going to get me fired!" Then something I would have never thought of, and how much he hurt me I will never forget. I yelled for him to get off of me. Someone came out of the bathroom, but they did not see anything. He was off of me by then. I told them I wanted to see the cops here now, he just put his hands on me and I want him arrested. I told them to look at the cameras and, wouldn't you know, there was no camera and no witness. He turned it into, if I get him arrested, then I will be too. He said that I hit him first. I am a 20 year old girl, 100 pounds, and under 5 feet tall. I would not be that stupid. I'm sorry it had to end this way but it did. This was all yesterday. I did try to get an order of protection, but I can't, because we have no child together. Believe that one?

— Jessica, 20

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