Still Learning

I cannot believe that I am forty-five, twice divorced, with no kids, and I still fell for another ass of a man. We were set up by mutual friends, and all four of us went on a cruise together last summer. I had a great time, and he stayed at my house for weeks after we returned. The sex was great, and we laughed as I have never laughed before. He had never been married, was in his forties, had no kids, and was well off I found out later. I, too, own my own home, a car, have a good job, and I am attractive. I was not looking for someone to take care of me. I fell for him and loved him, I thought. After a few months, I began to figure some things out. He lived with another woman and had for a year in the same town as me. He swore they were just friends and that he did not sleep with her. I wanted to believe that. After three months of trying to get the truth out of him, which I never did, I concluded on my own this other woman was a fool (like myself ) that loved him, let him live there with her free, and bent over backwards to please him. He is all her problem now. What a mooch. He does not care about anyone but himself. He lived off of her and yet was seeing me and who knows who else behind her back. She has a good job, and is in her forties with two grown children. How can we women be so stupid? She and I both are smart and attractive women. He hates women deep down and loves to use them. When the going got tough, he decided to stay where his bread was buttered and free. I was catching on, and he quit calling. I finally "got his number" after six months.

— Lauren, 45

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