Craving Some Carving
Well, this is really not a dating disaster but a personal ad for this Halloween coming up. I'm looking for top-prospect girls who would like to have their pumpkins carved and lit up in a sexual, erotic way. There will be plenty of pumpkin seeds to go around in the pumpkins for all-nighters. I'm melting and longing for some good pumpkin pie. The activities have already begun and might even carry over to Thanksgiving, at which time I will spike the hams and stuff the turkeys over, and over, and over, again.
— Jack, 25