Need Greed

I want you to want me. I need you to need me. So the song goes, anyway, but can't that get just a little claustrophobic? Surely the boys in Cheap Trick didn't mean for that particular girl to start possessively clutching at their hands whenever a cute groupie sauntered by, or to call every hour on the hour while they were on tour, right?

While we all love to feel wanted and necessary, we hate to feel put upon. So, we ask:

How needy is too needy?

He Says: You need me to need you.

Stock photo for article.Well, I'm sure this is one of those situations that depends a lot on the individual. But — and excuse me while I make this sweeping generalization — I think women have a much higher tolerance for neediness than guys do. In fact, many women seem to need to be needed, as it were. Sure, you complain that we can't dress right without your help, or keep our own apartments clean, but at the end of the day, you like taking care of us. We act needy because you need us to!

She Says: Who needs it?

Stock photo for article.Wow. I couldn't agree less with that. I think guys love to play the whole macho boy thing and complain that their girl is too dependent on them. But I've known more than a few guys who broke things off with their girls for not needing them enough! I guess in theory they were attracted by her independence and that she didn't need him around to have a good time, but when she could open the pickle jar without his help and had a few battery-powered toys in her bedside table, they felt unnecessary. It's stupid. Which is why I think we shouldn't worry so much whether we need each other — but think about how much we want each other.

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