Sexual Semantics

Breeding, boinking, bump and grinding...whatever you call it, it's all the same. Or is it?

Is there a difference between "having sex" and "making love"?

He Says: What a difference a date makes

Stock photo for article.For a long time, sex was just sex to me. I didn't care what you called it as long as it meant I was naked with a woman. You could have all the candles, cuddling and eye-gazing you wanted and it was still just sex. It was only after I met a woman I was head-over-heels crazy for that I realized there was a difference. Sex is just about two people using each other to get off (and that can be a good thing). But when it's love, you're much more interested in the process of us being together than in the grand finale. And yeah, that makes it sweeter and more meaningful. But the term "making love" still makes me gag.

She Says: It's deep and mushy vs. down and dirty

Stock photo for article.Being a girl, I'm sure no one will be surprised to hear that, yes, I do think there's a difference. But here's the thing: I don't think the difference has anything to do with how you feel towards the person. I've had tough-and-tumble, selfish sex with people I've deeply cared for and made soul-touching love to guys I've only felt a mild affection for. What I think it comes down to is your own attitude. Are you getting down and dirty for the sake of your own pleasure or are you indulging in a long joyride to cherish and connect with your partner?

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